A compilation of my most significant journal entries for 2008.

January: Mondo Beyondo Parts I & II, these posts offer a very positive start to 2008. A year that truly was a time of cultivation in love.

February: A Letter, a declaration of the wildness of the ride we were on and where my heart truly lies amidst the chaos.

Yes, the house we are living in has been sold and we must move (yet again), yes the world we are living in is in shambles, yes our country is in a rattling state of turmoil. Those things though, they are so temporal, they are so flippant, a drop in the hat compared to what really matters. Love, really, is all that matters. And we are rich in love.
I will find my security in love. The love we share, the love of our family/friends, and ultimately the love of the Infinite Invisible.

March: Afternoon, a heart bearing post offering the depth of soul shaking in which I found myself.
An Epistle, offering a honest status update of my state of mental and emotional health, how I successfully weaned myself off of psychotropic medication.

April: Half and Half, an intoxicated post full of blatant truth about the abusive, patriarchal religious situation I was once a part of, and the new journey I find myself on, toward the Divine Feminine.

May: Untitled Grief, the words I wrote after find out that my papaw has cancer.

I spoke of the news, in between breaths. I spoke of the sadness of my papaw's life, and how I wish (oh, how I wish) he could have been happier. Every thing's changed and I feel its shift. The pain of growing and feeling sorrow for that growth, those things we cannot control, that we do not understand and cannot change.

June: Reaching Out, the internal purging finds its way to the surface and I start the journey towards putting our home environment in order. I reach out to my blog community for help and they respond with such gentleness and grace I am in awe and utter gratitude.

July: I Wish I Could Say More, I take to talking in riddles to hide the pain my soul was feeling as I reached toward the very bottom point of my alcohol and sugar addiction, and the resulting depression and clouded heart.

August: Where I am, on this night I was home alone and staved off the craving my soul felt for truth and honestly with alcohol. I was pretty tipsy when I decided to take a self portrait of myself in the nude. I set the timer and cocooned into myself. The prayer that my heart rattled off afterwards was heard in a big way and my life began to break apart so it could be rebuild on a foundation of truth and soul, not craving and addiction. What a night that was.
On Getting Well, my admission to addiction and the path toward recover that I embarked upon.
Walking the Labyrinth, travelling within myself toward the places of truth, healing, and soul care.

September: Full Moon Dreamboard, an intuitive painting done reflecting the growth and progress of those seeds under cultivation and care. Prophetic.
A Look Back to 12/14/2007, a piece I wrote that I am very proud of.

October: As the Leaves, reflection on going back to school.
Topsy Turvey, the creative chaos of change.
One Year Ago Today, me and Josh’s one year wedding anniversary.

November: A Re-Introduction, internal soul shifting brought to the external through a night of unabashed dancing.
Practicing, an opportunity to practice mindfulness at my work.
A Story Tale, following the passion in my heart, writing a poem for a stranger and having the guts to walk up and give it to her.
Those Unnerving Places, a heart rending admission that opening myself up to the questions of the universe led to a place of complete unknowing. A resetting of my system.

December: This is Powerful Stuff, stream of consciousness ode to the rebirth I became conscious of.
The Dynamic of Change, the anatomy of evolution.
Video Blog Metal Music and Mindfulness, my first video blog, completely unrehearsed, just putting myself out to be seen and heard.