Reminder // September 2010

P.s. This girl wonders, have you any stories to share of this nature? For her heart would so love to hear them and hold them in such wonderment and light!

The Holyland // July 2009 

When women circle there is a spirit created that holds, caresses, sings to, inspires, sets afire every soul present. When women circle the intentions spoken are carried on wings of prayer and affirmed so powerfully that a velocity is created which heightens the speed of their manifestation in what we call reality. When women circle the world changes, vibrations resound, echoing the pulse of sacred hearts of love joined in unity.

I have been blessed to have been a part of two different types of women’s circles in the past three years. The first type directly influenced the manifestation of the second. The first women’s circle I was a part of was Goddess Leonie’s Creative Goddess E-Course. It was a virtual women’s circle and it allowed me to gently explore this new world of circling women. It was through this course and the sharing of Goddess Leonie that I came to an understanding of what a sacred women’s circle was, I soon found my heart aching for such support.

One Thursday afternoon months after participating in Goddess Leonie’s course I found myself sitting in my midwife’s office. Womb full of new life and my heart spilling over with my desire to be among like-hearted women. That visit, as the Universe would have it, my attending physician stepped quietly in to share in my sharing. She heard my heart-speak about what I desired, a circle of women sitting around a fire sharing stories and soulful words… She told me she may know of what I was looking for and we set up a way for me to contact her about it if I felt led. Later I found out that it was because I described in such detail what I was looking for that she knew she could not keep quiet about the circle she was a part of, even though, for certain reasons, she had not invited someone to circle for awhile. That Summer Soltice of 2009 I went to the Holyland and was part of my first circling of women around a fire and in a teepee. It was a life-altering, power-full time for me. I was re-initiated into my new global tribe. I was seen, held, caressed, sung to, inspired, and set-afire. I came to know first hand the true power that comes when women join together, and it is my assertion that in this spirit anything is possible. 

I have since been a part of many more circles of women, some formally arranged as with the Solstice retreat, and some happening spontaneously and organically as women gather for camaraderie and fun. Now, once again, I am about to join in another virtual women’s circle, which will last a year and is designed to support my personal growth and evolution in a holistic way. 

Goddess Leonie, a maker of “e-courses and meditation kits and workbooks and ridunkulously adorable babies named Ostara,” has just designed and launched the Goddess Circle, a culmination of all of her creative goodies which she has released thus far on her spirited Goddess Guidebook. These include: 

• Creative Goddess e-course (priced at $89)
• Radiant Goddess e-course (priced at $89)
• Creating your Goddess Haven e-course (priced at $89)
• Divine Dreaming meditation kit (priced at $49.95)
• Releasing Fears meditation kit (priced at $49.95)
• Chakra Healing Goddess meditation kit (priced at $49.95)
• 2010 Creating my Goddess Year workbook (priced at $9.95)

As Goddess Leonie states, these resources will help you:

• discover your spirited creativity
• use a 21 day movement, meditation and nutrition plan to help you feel radiant and cleansed in body, mind and spirit
• awaken your intuition and listen to the wise goddess voice inside you
• turn your home into a goddess sanctuary
• get to sleep easier & have divine dreams
• let go of fears & find your inner power
• heal pains, cleanse your chakras & feel cleansed & revitalised
• dream up and plan out your year with a 45 page workbook and planner.

Goddess Leonie expressed that she had the desire to make her soulful offerings affordable to all, so in the Goddess Circle membership you get all of the above mentioned items for only $99, plus you are a member of a supportive Goddess Circle for a year starting September 1st that includes:

• a soulful forum
• a Mama’s group
• a Business Goddess group
• any other groups our goddess tribe is calling out for!

Additionally, you also get anything which Goddess Leonie releases within that year! She has stated that this will include: 

Let me just say, after revisiting all the different product pages while writing out this blog, I am literally vibrating with excitement and anticipation for all of this wonderful support. To have, at my fingertips, such ideal wisdom for exactly the journey I am on is amazing! I feel so blessed to be a part of this circle, to be supported and to offer encouragement for all who are walking this divine path. Furthermore, it is with the utmost gratitude that I say Thank You to my dear friend Carli for gifting me with this opportunity. 

If you feel pulled to this course and have any questions you may find your answers here, under the heading of FAQ. If you have any questions regarding my experience, please don’t hesitate to ask! So much love and light to you!

Anise Butterfly Dream // Our Neighborhood // August 2010

On this beautiful Friday I would like to offer you a token of my affection. The above image is sized to be used as a wallpaper image on a computer. All you have to do is click it, when the large size appear (as if by magic!) before you, simply right click and save the image to your desktop… May it be a small reminder of just how great you truly are. 

We sat beneath the bowed low boughs of a most generous walnut tree. At first the baby clinging to me, as to not allow the grasses’ itch next to the soft rose of his supple soles. Then beginning to try on bravery he sits beside me. I allow my body to sink low into the calico carpet, greens and browns of these August days. Above the sun is dappled by the pinnate leaves of our wooded canopy. The breeze is tall and long, licking at our skin. My eyes close. There is joy here.

Soon, with a torso braced against my shoulder, there are little hands removing my glasses. Next, I feel a soft tickle brush the skin of my face and neck. Those little hand have discovered deliciously loose dirt, and now it is time for experiments. Some goes in his mouth, some offered to my mouth (though grateful, I decline). Most is used as decoration. He dusts me as if I were the richest lump of dough waiting patiently for my sprinkle of crystallized sweetness. He is my sweetness. As he creates, a deep laugh bubbles up from my belly. The sound pleases him and he looks at me with recognition. In that moment I understand, we are together here beneath these magic boughs. He is so glad I have allowed this, and I second the sentiment as my fingers lightly examine the earth powdered make-up that reveals my true beauty. 

          So in this stillness today, I ask, what does my melody sound like?

                   It is the whisper of the fan blowing on my sleeping son.

                   It is the twitter of the birds outside my window frame.    

                   It is the friction of the cricket’s legs.

                   It is the electric hum of the cicada’s ohm.

                   My melody is the softest scratch of this humble pen on these pages lined with good intent.

          As of late I feel caught up in the swirl. I am having trouble focusing on the next step. I can see endless possibilities off in the distance— the life I aim to lead. But what of these days, what is my next step here as a mama who aspires to write—Write. Oh, right. To be a writer one must write. Ah, yes.

          But what will come of it?

                   Syllable, word, phrase, line of verse, song.

          And for whom do I write?

                   Start writing for yourself, for your soul.

                   Start writing to put things in place.

                   Start writing those images that sparkle in your heart, those shards of truth that have persisted and insisted that you heed their bright, hot, white light                                     in the face of all the shadows.

                   Write for the child in you who needs new songs to sing.

                   Write for the wild eyed maiden whose inexhaustible passion, whose flurry of frenetic energy can now be transmuted into creativity.

                   Write out the woman you are now. Whose questions often outnumber answers, but whose answers are all well-earned.

                   Write for the woman you will be, wise-eyes shining beneath the gray crown of glory that flows around shoulders cloaked in the path of gratitude that                                     your feet never tired of treading.

                   Write what you believe. Define it for yourself. To clarify your truth is a powerful tool.

                   Tell those stories of blissful mystery, those times the stars aligned.

                   Tell about your birth and rebirth.

                   Tell of the times your have been baptized in Grace.

                   Write about the spirals.

                   Write about the patterns.

                   Write about the sinking in and the carrying on.

                   Write to create your reality.

                   Write to name yourself.

                   Write to be made whole.

                             Write.

We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting laundry. — E.B. White, Letters of E.B. White

The way to find out about happiness is to keep your mind on those moments when you feel most happy, when you are really happy — not excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy. This requires a little bit of self-analysis. What is it that makes you happy? Stay with it, no matter what people tell you. This is what is called following your bliss.—Joseph Campbell

Imagine a world where all hearts are joyful, a world where the feeling of happiness is the default vibration of the world’s people. My life, my vibration are one part of this, this is my devotion, my meditation.

While Walking // Our Neighborhood // August 2010

We have taken to walking, though there is heat. There is also shade, dabbled patterns playing across our sun-kissed faces, shifting kaleidescope spheres beneath our rosy closed eye-lids. We have taken to walking and it is changing everything. There is more rhythm to our rhyme. The song something like this,

Wake-up, stretch back into our bodies for the day,

Soak in what silence may.

Whir of the blender for smoothie,

Sit at the table for prayer and meditation. 

(It is usually around this time the roaring begins).

Share sips to soothe the impatience. 

(Its almost time to go).

Jar of tea for the mama, ice water for the baby.

Dog on lease, camera in pouch.

Baby in seat, ready to GO!

Usually a short walk will suffice the sensitivities of the little dog, whose dainty feet do not appreciate the hot concrete. A quick jaunt for “business” sake, and then she is back inside to revel in her quiet time without a curious sidekick to worry about avoiding. The longer walk is when we thrive. So many things to see, so nice to be out, gives us room to breathe. Our destination is usually the park, where our first stop is the swings. Not the baby swings, the big swings, where Arlo sits on my lap, facing me and we swing and make wide-wondrous eyes at each other. Then it is sitting in the shade, giggling and exploring time. Before we leave a snack must be had, and so our sticky bellies cling to each other as the one who nurses does so with great dedication and gratitude. The walk back there is more silence inside, a basking in the moments as they come and go. We cross the threshold with what exuberance is left, sweaty and grateful. 

Now is for the winding down, the record player on with Iron & Wine’s melody. We dance, we sing, we play. If I am feeling especially ambition now is the time the dishes might get done, but this is not pertinent for the success of the morning. No, the morning’s success lies in the the pause, the repose, the gentle wisps of languid time that curl around our bare toes, offering to us such beautiful possibilities if we will just be still and allow. There is stillness in the walking, in the steady pace, in the spaces of my steps. There is stillness and possibility and this is making all the difference. 

We like creeks.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been words… The silence in this place, well, I’m not sure quite how to account for it. There have been nights where I have gripped for those words with all my might, to save some sort of semblance of sanity. There have been nights when the seething and churning below my surface begs to be released, yet I for fear or some thing of the like, I could not choke up even one word, let alone a string of sentences. This is a summer of growth (aren’t they all), and as I have come to acknowledge, growth is a tricky being to dress up and bow-tie with syllable and punctuation. It spirals and squirms, it edges and collides. It is not neat.

Where I have been. I have been in Holy places, on lands blessed with countless prayers and humble wifts of smoke steeped in intention. I have been in a circle of fire rooting out tribal evils, I’ve been held while I cried and I’ve been held while I scream. I have been released and releasing. I have been cleansing and purging. I have been evolving. I have been telling my story, where it is heard with open heart, by sisters who feel ever word of truth I can muster. I have been mothering, on creek bank and tent, in meadow, heat, and shade. I have been free, I have been naked. I have been transparent. I have been seeking, finding, climbing deeper. I have been dreaming.

I have been integrating, I have been processing. I’ve been in the thick of it. I’ve been plowing, I’ve been planting. I’ve been weeding. I’ve been paying more attention. I’ve been uncomfortable and I’ve been comforted. 

I have been on different land, in different states. I’ve been traveling. I’ve been up in the trees, out in the dark, around by the lake. I’ve looked at the stars. I’ve contained myself. I’ve talked in riddle, and alluded. I’ve been dizzy up to high. I’ve been thinking about velocity and the state of my soul.

I have been visualizing. I’ve been singing, dancing, believing. I’ve been thinking about what I want. I’ve been asserting myself. I’ve been stepping out, looking up. I’ve been being. I’ve been shifting my perspective. I’ve been participating. I’ve been trusting. I’ve been scared. I’ve been loving. I’ve been nursing my baby, along with all my wounds. I’ve been healing. I’ve been winding. I’ve been growing.

I am growing and there is dirt. I am growing and there is hard feelings. I am growing and there is love. I am growing and there is prosperity. I am growing and there is uncertainty. I am growing and there is paradox. I am growing right along with the tomatoes that vine, the mint that crawls, the fruit that ripens. I am growing and my soul is expanding. I am growing and I am honest. I am growing and I am clear, translucent. I am growing and allowing my self to be seen.

I am here, I am showing up.

This little light-beam and I are about to embark on an adventure in retreat. For the next three days we will be gathering on sacred lands, allowing our wildish natures to roam & romp, and singing songs of gratitude, honor & praise as the sun blesses us with these longest days. 

Blessed be!

Purging my space of old attachments, sentiments, stuff. Feels like drowning right now, trying to keep in mind that once its done the lightness will come. Floating up, breaking through the surface of a new place in this sea of consciousness. *Breathe Deep* push the weight up off my chest. *Wow* this is challenging

It is challenging. I can feel metaphysical shifting, more than “stuff” is moving. I trust that this is good work, action I am called to complete for deeper reasons than just physical clearing. My mantra, “Breathe, let go, expand.”

Congratulations to Carli, her inspired comment on my BIG Dreams vlog was drawn, she will be gifted with Jon’s Green Apples CD. 

I so adored every comment that was so grace-fully left on that vlog. They have been nourishing light to my soul.