Most Sincerely,

Beddy-bed-bed. Where we spend a lot of time.

The development of Arlo’s eczema has led me to an intriguing space of self-examination and contemplation coupled with activism and motivation. Arlo is exclusively breastfed and therefore with the suspicion that this skin condition is dietary my eating habits have changed drastically. I have cut out all dairy and gluten from my diet, as well as eggs and soy. Furthermore, I have been trying to eat a diet rich in alkaline foods, while avoiding acidic substances (good by chocolates and dessert). In the changing of my diet I have come to observe all the more closely my relationship with food. I must be honest. Those first few days were steeped in cravings and rage. My head split from withdraw as my emotions whirled about blaming and lamenting how hard these sacrifices were. Through the fog I began to notice my eating habits were not centered around mindfulness and nutrition, but around security, comfort, reward, and pleasure. Food helped me check out, eased the discomfort of a hard days mama-ing, gave me something to do with my hands when I was feeling insecure. Food was often the easy way out.

My current phase in this eating evolution is that of frustration, irritation, and hope. Being this restricted is difficult. I am trying to focus on the foods I can eat rather than dwell on those I will not eat. And yet many times I am driven to irritation at how complex meal planning has become. I used to take pleasure in cooking, it was an escape. I suppose a perspective shift is in order, I can choose to enjoy this new territory, look at it as an adventure. I foresee more research. I am hopeful that this healthful shift will benefit not only my son, but me as well. Truly how can I be bitter when I can clearly see through all the information that I have absorbed that this new path is much more nourishing than that which I previously treaded? 

My days have been filled with research. Trying to glean pertinent information about eczema, a condition that is characterized by many interpretations, treatments, and unanswered questions. I have found a couple of good online resources, and I have many friends who are nutritional-healing minded like me who have offered up suggestions. On top of changing my diet I have also implements the use of some supplements for both me and Arlo. Every time Arlo nurses he gets a small dose of digestive enzymes, he enjoys taking them and opens his mouth so I can sprinkle the powder on his tongue. 

All in all Arlo’s skin shows signs of healing. He, himself, is feeling better, which is evident in his demeanor and quirky sense of humor. 

As the stars have aligned, this spring cleansing has bled past the seams of my physical body and has been manifest in our home as well. Last week my parents came to visit and help me accomplish some much needed decluttering and cleaning. It was an amazing experience. I cannot even begin to express how invigorating it felt to sift through my material world, offering up piles of pruning to those in need. I felt physically lighter after it all. Furthermore, to allow my parents into this new space of mothering was healing. It is very difficult for me to allow myself to be seen, even by those closest to me. Yet those two days it all flowed so naturally (ah, that Pisces energy). I felt seen, and encouraged by the words spoken to me by my mother concerning my mothering. 

As space has been manifest in our home I have been feeling great surges of creative energy. Pieces I would like to write and create flower in my psyche. I now have a permanent space for my sewing machine. Also, every room now has a sweet little nest for Arlo, who has mastered the art of sitting up. 

It is spring, the robins have returned, and I feel the most beautiful soft green shoots of blessed life poking up through my heart, ready to be released to grow wildly in this great world. Winter’s looking within time will surely allow for much vibrancy in this coming season.