Hello long time. It seems the last few posts on this page of mine in the Universe has started with an apology. I am truly sorry for my absence, both on this page and in the whole of life in general. Last night the wave of all this change began to crash into me and I started to realize all the different aspects of my life I have been absent from, in order to persevere and accomplish this move that we have made (we are living in Columbia now). While I understand that it is necessary for this to happen, there is no possible way I can focus on the all of the variety of obligations I have built into my life and still be able to accomplish the things that have needed to be done, I still mourn and grieve over the things I have had to set aside for a season.

I don't even know where to begin writing now? I am at a loss. So much has happened, so much has changed, and all I want to do is sleep. I feel like an infant, new to the world and overly stimulated, in need of constant naps in order for their mind to process through all the newness and wonder around them. There is so much swirling around me at the moment that I barely feel up to the challenge of confronting it all. So I'm not sure I will. I think, perhaps, I might take a different approach. I want to start meditating again, and writing. Time and time again when I sit quietly and all of my thoughts start to strangle my sanity I return to those two solutions. Stream of consciousness writing and meditation, confronting it all as it comes and letting it all slide by. And prayer, I've been praying a lot. Mostly my prayers go something like this: "Mama, I need comfort, help me, help me please." I think this is enough, really.

In other news, on our last visit to the midwives we got to hear our baby's heart beat. I was in awe and wonder the rest of the day, Cloud Nine. I will write more about this.