Most Sincerely,

Hello, I apologize sincerely for my prolonged absence. I have not been hiding, per say, more like biding my time until I could share more details from the whirlwind of change we have been swept up in. Josh and I are in the midst of a BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC transition. And, surprisingly, in this instance I am not referring to our pregnancy. We have decided, after much deliberation, to take a leap of faith and move from the small town in which we have lived together for 2.5 years (I have lived here for almost 8 years!). We are making our way to a larger community about an hour and a half south called Columbia. This is the town from which Josh moved about three years ago, and has missed every since. This is the town we visit frequently and upon leaving I am always in better spirits and asking, "Why don't we live here?" This is the town where our amazing midwives are. This is our new hometown.

Columbia is a unique Missouri town. I have heard it described as an oasis of sorts, and would have to agree. The area of town which captures our hearts entirely is downtown. The district downtown is full of artists, musicians, whole foods, graffiti, galleries, and a spirit of encouragement and acceptance of alternative lifestyle choices that Josh and I have not felt in the town where we currently live. We were lucky enough to find a small half of a house to live in right in this area. The surrounding neighborhood is quiet with more walkers and bicycles passing on our street than cars. At the end of our block is a gallery/cafe, we are within walking distance of the downtown district, as well as the main campus of the college I attend online (I am looking so forward to having access to their library!).

The  new home we chose is, as I mentioned, half of a house. I suppose it could be classified as a duplex, but not in the most traditional sense. Coincidentally the guys that live in the other half are friends of my brother, who also lives in Columbia. They are quiet, very nice, and it is reassuring to know those who lives in such close proximity of us, especially with our baby on the way. Initially the house was a bit less than desirable. It was a college rental, in poor repair, and very dirty. Slowly we have been transforming it into something suitable to out growing family. My parents and brother have been such great help, painting and cleaning galore! It has been frustrating to feel a bit helpless in this move, as I am not able to lift anything very heavy or be around many of the products needed to use to get the house in tip top sanitary condition. Nevertheless, it has taught me a lot about asking for help, something I have not been very good at, and a lesson I am sure will be more learnt in this coming age of motherhood.

Our lease it up on our home in Kirksville at the end of this month, a mere week away. We must be out, have the place cleaned, and the carpets steam cleaned by then. From where I sit now this seems utterly daunting. We've so much more to do. Furthermore, atop all of the renovation and moving work, I have started back to school this week and Josh has an upcoming weekend full of travelling musicians and shows that were set up long before we decided to make this move!

I have begun to understand the importance of small steps. As Anne Lamott says, "Bird by bird," in a story that she recalls about her brother who put off a report on birds until the very last  moment before it was due, he sits at the table beside himself with the sheer gravity of the situation, questioning how he will ever complete the assignment, his father shares an invaluable piece of knowledge and reason saying, "Bird by bird." So as I pack up our current home I go section by section-- arts supplies, tools, books, kitchen, clothes. And as I get overwhelmed by the renovations still needing to be made on our new home I sit quietly for a moment remembering, room by room, and finish cleaning the windows that have been caked with who knows how many years of dust. Now, with school I will go assignment by assignment. I can see now that truly all of this is a lesson in being present, about getting out of my head, where I could stay for hours contemplating the best plan of attack and fretting over all of the tasks left to be completed, and getting into the moment where I must be caught up in mindful action.