Most Sincerely,

It was after walking into the kitchen to say, "We have a new filter, so drink all the water you want." It was after saying that, to my mom, and then standing together, in the kitchen, that she began. My papaw has cancer. She said earlier in the day her sister had called with the news. A tumor, on the side of his head. A rare form, Adenoid cystic carcinoma. Already the tumor has fingers. There will be test done to see if his lung can withstand an 18 hour operation. My papaw, who suffers already from emphysema and Alzheimer's. If not the operation, then radiation. It is not known if the cancer has spread into his lymphatic system.
It was while standing in my kitchen I heard this. And I looked into my mother's pale blue eyes the whole time. Saying after she finished, this sounds pretty bad. She agreed. Then we moved along the linoleum floor, her mentioning something about my hair. Noticing its unkempt state. The subject changed, and now every thing's changed.
Not long after she and my dad left with their pup, the one we watched tonight. And then we pressed play on the show we had paused and finished it later still. My mind though, was there and back, and to and fro. And finally after the show was finished my tears fell, and I bit my lips. Josh saw and asked about them. I spoke of the news, in between breaths. I spoke of the sadness of my papaw's life, and how I wish (oh, how I wish) he could have been happier. Every thing's changed and I feel its shift. The pain of growing and feeling sorrow for that growth, those things we cannot control, that we do not understand and cannot change.