Where I am Going:

2008- A Year of Cultivation, Education, and Love.

The fear of failure has practically paralyzed me concerning this portion of Mondo Beyondo. Therefore I begin this affirmation with this:

I will not allow fear of any shape, sort, or kind control me. This includes the stinking sneaky fear contained in self-doubt, worry, and general anxiety. These two gremlins have hovered at the edge of my consciousness for much, much too long and I am giving them the boot. I am acknowledging that they are present, I am confronting them, and I am beginning an active journey away from their control and into the arms of love. Love is an environment where fear cannot survive and it is there I will thrive.

In love I will cultivate the creative gifts that have been installed in me. These are blessings from God and with her help I will move in them. I will not doubt my ability. I will write, I will paint, I will sketch, I will photograph, I will collage, I will sing, I will speak, I will shape, I will love through my creativity.

In love I will cultivate the sanctuary of our home. I acknowledge that our home, wherever the shelter may stand, is a blessing from God. It is a place where our bodies and spirits may be restored. With God's grace I choose to cultivate an atmosphere of peace. I choose to cultivate an atmosphere of order. I choose to cultivate a cocoon of safety where we may create, love, laugh, entertain, learn, and rest. I allow the guilt that enshrouds me concerning "good housekeeping" to fall away and I trust that God in her infinite wisdom will teach me a better way to create a home-shelter. I will love through my home.

In love I will cultivate the romance and partnership between my husband and I. I acknowledge that this union we have entered into is spiritual. It is a blessing from God and I open myself up to her guidance as to the journey of nurturing this precious entity that is our love. I acknowledge that the shape of our relationship is ever evolving and I will not fear this. I will embrace our evolution and allow it to teach me. I will love through our romance and partnership.

In love I will cultivate the relationship that I have with my family, both of blood and not. These relationships are a blessing from God. These lives that entwine with mine are each precious gifts and I will open myself to God's grace and allow her to teach me of friendship and family. I will love through my interpersonal relationships.

In love I will cultivate the encounters I have with the human race. I will act with a heart of love, acknowledging that every being I meet is a creature of God's. I will not judge but allow God to act through me in grace. I will love through the human race.

In love I will cultivate the mind I have been bestowed. I acknowledge that I have been wonderfully made and the mind that I have been given is fertile soil. I will allow education to flow into me, I will open my mind, I will open my heart. I will take responsibility for my formal education. I will re-enter university where I can cultivate my interests in writing, theology, gender studies, and psychology. I will not doubt my abilities. I will allow the mind of God to revolutionize my mind. I will learn and I will love through my education.

In love I will cultivate my mental health. I acknowledge that this aspect of my personality is a blessing from God, though the peaks and valleys of bi-polar disorder are not the easiest terrain to maneuver. I acknowledge that my emotions are gifts to be harnessed, not covered up or ignored. I choose to believe that my mind will heal itself through Grace. I choose to believe that peace will enter my mind, and I will learn how to cultivate these new ideas of mental health with the help of God and her excellent goodness. I will love through my emotional life.

In love I will cultivate my spirit. I will allow the gentleness of God, the goodness of God, the joy of God, the peace of God to fill me with warmth. I will allow her to love me and I will allow that love to heal the deep hurts I have experienced concerning spirituality. I will be and allow the presence of God in this world to mold me and shape me. Basically, I resolve that I am empty and I will be filled. I acknowledge that this is a journey. I acknowledge this is one day at a time, even at times one minute at a time. In this journey I will not move in fear. I will love through this journey whatever it may bring, I will love and be in love.

(Pt. 1 is here.)